Half term burnout

26 Oct

I look forward to half term in the same way I look forward to doing my tax return. It’s a regular event, it’s unavoidable and I’ve had months to prepare for it, and yet…

Being broke doesn’t help, and it also doesn’t help that I’m not much of a realist and before the holiday I conjure up images of domestic bliss. Me silently stirring a cake mix, the kids, dressed in various shades of teal sticking things silently onto a very lovely collage to give to Granny for Christmas, my husband and I laughing fondly at the children’s idiosyncrasies. This is the kind of scene you might see in Junior magazine and in my head it happens on a regular basis. In my world it has never happened.

Cut to today where I had to physically remove the industrial scissors from the baby’s hands before he gauged his eyes out. “Who the hell left them so close to him on the table?” I scream, before I realise that it was me and I was in the middle of cutting out a large square of plaster to give to middle child, who had sliced some of his finger off whilst trying to cut around a ludicrously complex cardboard model on the back of a cereal packet. I kept asking him to wait whilst he begged for me to help him. My fault then. Meanwhile, I’ve burnt two rounds of toast. This is not bliss. And my husband’s working from home in the office (corner of the kitchen) and we’ve been rowing since 6am.

Like the big box of crumpled receipts that sits at the bottom of my bed, half term is a trunk of badly organised tricks with no-one to act as magician. I’m absolutely rubbish at planning and I find holidays induce the kind of anxiety that makes me suggest some really crazy things. I actually thought that going away together for a few days to the sea would be a good idea, but today I woke up and turned to my husband (for the first time in days as holidays do our relationship no good either) and said, “Do you know what, I think it’s best that you go on holiday with one of the children and I’ll stay put with the baby and the other one. You get to pick.” He smiled and said “Yeah, ok.” It’s the first time we’ve agreed on anything in days.

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